U.N. Sponsors 'Bomb-Making' Classes For Kids

The United Nations hung its head in shame today when the headmaster of one of its schools was exposed as being a top bomb maker for a Muslim terror group.

By day, Awad al-Qiq was a respected teacher and headmaster in the Gaza Strip. By night, he built rockets for the Islamonazi cowards of Hamas . For many years the UN has denied Israeli allegations that it supported anti-Israeli terror groups such as Hamas and Hezbollah, preferring instead to accuse Israel of paranoia.

A UN spokesperson today stated that it wasn't aware of Mr al-Qiq's 'out of school' activities, although he failed to deny rumours that Mr al-Qiq included 'bomb making' and 'killing Jews' as hobbies on his CV.

6 Dead, 100s Injured - Another Productive Day in Palestine

Corrupt dead Muslim terrorist, Yasser Arafat, will be rubbing his hands with glee tonight as many pints of fresh blood were spilt today at a rally organised to commemorate the third anniversary of his death.

Palestinian Fatah supporters hurled stones at the Hamas Terror Police as the rally came to an end in Gaza. Hamas retaliated by bravely shooting into the unarmed crowd despite not having any women to hide behind. Such levels of Islamic heroism haven't been seen since earlier in the day when another brave Hamas unit launched mortars into Israel from a school.

Britain Running Out of Muslim Terrorists

It would appear that the U.K. may be running out of Muslim terrorists. In an attempt to avoid such a devastating catastrophe the Government has urgently requested the immediate return of 5 Islamic terrorists currently held in Guantanamo Bay. Although none of the 5 are U.K. citizens, Prime Minister Gordon Brown feels that a lack of Islamic terrorists in Britain would quickly lead to a shortage of suitable role models for young Muslims receiving benefits from the country they hate. Despite all 5 having undeniable terrorist links each of them has been able to convince naive liberals at groups such as 'Amnesty' and 'Liberty' of their innocence.

OMAR DEGHAYES - Was actually caught on film at a Muslim Terror camp but claimed 'mistaken identity' when detained fleeing Afghanistan after the fall of the Taleban.

SHAKER ABDUR-RAHEEM AAMER - Claimed he was merely carrying out 'voluntary charity work' in Afghanistan.

ABDULNOUR SAMEUR - Wounded in Afghanistan (where he had travelled to be a 'good' muslim) whilst fighting alongside a group of Arabs. Also admitted prior knowledge of 9/11.

JAMIL EL-BANNA - Has links to imprisoned radical Muslim cleric Abu Qatada.

BINYAM MOHAMMED AL HABASHI - Received firearms and explosives training in Afghanistan with shoe-bomber Richard Reid.

It must be dificult being a Muslim these days. Just because you carry an AK47 and several hand grenades everybody thinks you're a terrorist!!!...Thank Allah for 'Amnesty International' and 'Liberty'.

Hamas Murders More Children

In an effort to avoid the 'embarrassment' of murdering even more of their own children, Palestinian terrorists have today been allowed by their religious leaders to spend a little less time slavishly reciting quranic hate verses at prayer time in order to spend more time studying the instructions for firing portable rockets.

The 'Religious' order comes after a terrorist attempt earlier today, aimed at scuppering Israel/Palestine peace moves, resulted in the death of an 8 year old Palestinian boy and his younger sister when several rockets fell short of their proposed Israeli target and landed in Northern Gaza instead. Souces in the area said 'This is not an unusual occurrence'

This latest Islamic 'own goal' has been described as Hamas' worst 'miscalculation' since they murdered 8 Palestinians in the now infamous 'Gaza Beach Massacre'.

Hamas' spokesperson was said to be 'unavailable' for comment.