Sorry about my enforced absence. This was due to an Islamonazi instigated 'technical' issue which has now been resolved - Allah's kind intervention ensured that Freedom of Speech has once again prevailed.Anyway, back to business! And the 'big' story of the day has to be the 'Bin Laden Divorce'. Yes, it was a surprise to everyone to hear that 5 (now 6) times divorced Jane Felix-Browne's marriage to Osama Bin Laden's 27 year old son Omar didn't last more than 5 minutes. The 51 year old 'burkha babe' wannabe met Bin Laden whilst on a 3 day drinking spree in Egypt.
On hearing news of the marriage back in July, an anonymous vicar from her home town of Moulton said "I would like to wish Jane and Omar every happiness. I have not been forced to make this statement against my will and my family have not been threatened with immediate beheading if I do not read this statement out. Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar".
Rumours that Omar Bin Laden's penis was too small for the sex-mad ex prostitute were strenuously denied by the red-faced Arab who stated "I have very big willy. At 2.5 inches it has won many 'Biggest Muslim Willy' contests."
An anonymous source close to the couple said that Ms Felix-Browne-Bin-Laden (as she likes to be known) was not the sharpest knife in the drawer and had misunderstood Islamic laws on multiple spouses. The source stated "Having expected to be pleasured by several husbands each night, she was disappointed to learn that her new husband already had several other wives (none of whom had ever been sexually fulfilled by little Omar) and that she would not be allowed to take another husband unless she liked being stoned to death". Alas, Ms F-B-B-L and an aging camel called Cecil soon became very close friends.
Other news... I see peaceloving and tolerant Muslims have killed an anti-Syrian MP in Christian Beirut when they blew up his car. Hezbollah are said to be furious that only 3 innocent women and children were also killed in the blast.
More to come soon!!!
PS Happy Ramadan ;o)
2 comments:
Holy shit, I thought that was Gail Porter...uh, with a wig. She doesn't look middle aged.
Anyway to give credit where it's due - at least he's not like his cave-dwelling shiteating dad.
Syria interering - and by interfering I mean dictating, murdering &c. - in Lebanon's politics again? Well colour me surprised...
She used to live just down the road from me. She's had more pricks in her than a second hand dartboard!
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