Muslim Integration Not Quite Going According to Plan

Three years on from the 7/7 London Tube Bombings where over 50 innocent people were slaughtered by followers of an evil death cult, Britain still refuses to recognise the ongoing threat of the Nazi inspired teachings of Islam. All attempts at integrating Muslims into civilised society have been turned on their head and British people are now openly expected to adapt to the ways of the Dark Side.

Two 12 year old pupils were recently given detention for refusing to pray to Allah at a school in Cheshire whilst other kids were told off for not doing it right! For anybody unsure of how to pray in a respectful way to Allah simply follow these instructions...

1. Point your bottom towards Mecca.
2. Let off an almighty botty burp.
3. Use several pages from a copy of the Quran to wipe away any accidental outage.

Now it's not always easy to work out which direction Mecca is so as an alternative many Muslims simply point towards their local benefits office and give thanks for getting free money every week.

Nobody is suggesting that all Muslims are actively involved in terrorism so one might think that the law abiding element would welcome any efforts to cut out the more pro-active terrorists from within their own comunities. Unfortunately this doesn't appear to be the case.

In the latest clampdown on Islamic terrorism ACPO (Association of Chief Police Officers) is drawing up guidlines to ensure that all sniffer dogs wear appropriate footwear to avoid upsetting Muslims...that'll teach 'em! This comes only days after Tayside police were forced to make an apology to Muslims for displaying a poster that showed a cute puppy in a police officer's helmet.

Muslims recently demanded that they should be exempt from checks by sniffer dogs at airports and train stations. Apparently such checks make it almost impossible to carry Semtex and other terror related materials onto trains without being caught and are therefore Islamophobic.

RSPCA officials were in total agreement with the exemption. One anonymous official stated 'Dogs have rights too. Just because they can lick their own balls and like to sniff eachothers' bottoms doesn't mean they should be made to get that close to odious scum such as Islamonazi terror suspects. It's about time we showed some respect to dogs'.

SNIFFER DOGS OFFEND MUSLIMS

Detention for refusing to kneel in class and pray to Allah

Tayside Police apologise after Muslims complain over 'unclean' puppy in advert

Bonking Brigadier Upholds Islamic Double Standards

Brigadier General Ali Reza Zarei, Iran's 'Moral enforcer', was recently arrested by members of his own force when they raided a Tehran brothel. The Brigadier, a close confidant of Iran's diminutive President Ahmadinejad, was apparently caught with his pants down whilst with 6 prostitutes.

Reports state that up to 60 hours of video tape featuring the General carrying out his covert 'manoeuvres' was also confiscated by his officers. It is understood that President Ahmadinejad has demanded to know the secret of his favourite General's success with the opposite sex and is personally keeping hold of the tapes untill he finds out.

For some unknown reason the above report has not been mentioned in the official Iranian media.