Prophet Mohammed's (Peace Be Upon Me) Top Ten Prophecies for 2008

Well, 2007 has been a very good year for Muslims ie plenty of death, torture, persecution of the weak and threats of total annihilation for anybody who doesn't follow the teachings of the dark side...Just what the Quran ordered.

Muslims this year have actually killed far more of their fellow Muslims than Infidels. The Muslim:Muslim kill ratio currently stands at 8.4 on the Kalashnikov scale and is up for the 7th year running. If the current upward trend continues we should see a welcome solution to the Muslim problem by about 2175AD - Any ideas to speed up the process will be gratefully accepted.

Anyway, back to the important stuff, me... prophesising is an important part of my job as a prophet, so to avoid being relieved of my duties as Allah's favourite prophet I thought I'd make a few prophecies about what's in store for 2008. So here goes...

Prophet Mohammed's (Peace Be Upon Me) Top Ten Prophecies for 2008.

1. Muslims will be responsible for between 99-100% of all acts of terrorism.

2. Muslim 'men' will treat their women as second class citizens.

3. No teacher in Sudan will name a teddy bear 'Mohammed'.

4. Evolution will continue to bypass Islamic countries.

5. Racial and religious hatred will continue to be openly preached in most UK (insert your own country) mosques.

6. George Galloway, Part time MP and ex holder of the Turban of Death, will still be corrupt and will continue to carry out the orders of his Muslim masters.

7. The Quran will still be the best value toilet paper money can buy.

8. Pakistan will 'elect' a leader who'll end up with several very large Swiss bank accounts.

9. The vast majority of Muslims will still be living in abject poverty.

10. All Muslims will still be living in the 7th Century.

10a. Allah still won't exist.

10b. Secretary General of the Islamonazi Council of Britain, Dr Muhammad Abdul Bari, will still openly support wife beating, stoning women, forced marriages (but only for girls over the age of 9) and a total ban on bikinis and alchohol (unless it's in the privacy of Dr Bari's own S&M bed 'chamber').

10c. It will still be a crime to get raped in most Islamic countries.

10d. Palestinians will do everything in their power to avoid the establishment of a Palestinian state and the resulting chaos, death, murder and corruption that would inevitibly follow - Much easier to keep the status quo and carry on blaming Israel for everything.

10e. Muslims will still be incapable of creating an effigy to burn that looks even remotely like the person they'd like to dismember with a rusty sword.

On behalf of Allah and myself I'd like to wish
everybody (including Infidels) a happy and peaceful 2008.

and remember... Above all else, the Devil cannot stand to be mocked.

Spot The Terrorist

Whilst most people go to the New Forest in Hampshire for a relaxing day out or a spot of camping, Muslims have now found a use for it worthy of their 'peaceful and tolerant' religion. Forget the bandit territory on the Afghan/Pakistan border, the New Forest is now the Official Preferred Terrorist Training Camp for all UK Muslims.

A 2 week Terror Training Package (half board with ammo included) costs as little as 2 days' dole money. This was far too good an opportunity to miss for several young dysfunctional Muslims., most of whom were bearded and all of whom were extremely ugly and socially inept. The only chance they'd ever get to have sex with a woman would be to blow themselves up, taking as many innocent people as possible with them, and receive the gratitude of Allah's 72 imaginary virgins.

Mousa Brown, 41, of Walthamstow, east London; Kibley da Costa, 24, of West Norwood, south-east London; Mohammed Al-Figari, 42, of Tottenham, north London, and Kader Ahmed, 20, of Plaistow, east London all put their faith in the hands of Virgin Leader Mohammed Hamid, 50...Now they all face long prison sentences where they will all almost certainly lose their virginity - although not quite as they had intended.

Anybody wishing to book an action-packed New Forest Terror Training Package should contact the new UK agent for Death Holidays at the following email georgegallowaydotcom@gmail.com