If You Go Down To The School Today, You're In For A Big Surprise.

In a land hardened by the horrors of genocide and ethnic cleansing, a 54 year old English schoolteacher has actually managed to offend the 'sensitivities' of the entire Muslim population of Sudan when she named a teddy bear 'Muhammed'. The name was chosen after a vote was held amongst a class of 6 & 7 year olds. This heinous crime carries a punishment of up to 6 months in jail and/or 40 lashes.

The teacher, Gillian Gibbons, was arrested on Sunday by police from the IslamoNazi Ministry of Indoctrination and Education. They also want to interview the owner of the bear, a 6 year old child, who with any luck, may avoid being hanged. Many outside observers believe the authorities are more upset at the democratic way in which the name was chosen than by the actual naming itself.

Top U.K. IslamoNazi, Dr Muhammad Abdul Bari, leader of terrorist support group The Muslim Council of Britain (MCB), today expressed support for the decision to arrest her. "Teddy bears are cute and cuddly and bring much joy to many people. They do not kill and they are not paedophiles. They do not bully smaller teddy bears and have never been known to slit the throats of younger sister bears who decide to marry outside of their species; therefore, they have nothing in common with, and should never be named, Muhammed".

Dr Bari's own teddy bear is affectionately called 'Kill the Infidel Dog'.

Always Look on the Bright Side of Death

As part of its 'Bending Over Backwards to Appease Muslims' season, BBC journalist, Yasmeen Khan, has just finished an 'indepth' investigation and concluded that Muslims really do have a sense of humour! No, this isn't a spoof report for Comic Relief she really did come to that conclusion...AND ANYBODY WHO DISAGREES WITH HER WILL DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH!!!!!

The BBC even managed to find a photo of a smiling Muslim (and without a recently beheaded Infidel in sight) ... this, according to Ms Khan, really is proof that Muslims don't just find humour in death, misery and suffering!

Ibrahim Mogra, chairman of the interfaith Muslim Public Affairs Committee (or is that the Muslim Interfaith Public Affairs Committee?) says "religiously there is no reason why Muslims can't enjoy a laugh"... Maybe he'd be kind enough to share this revelation with the rest of the Muslim community.

Muslim 'comic', Jeff Mirza, blames the media for portraying Muslims as 'monolithic' kill-joys incapable of laughing at themselves. When asked if we were ever likely to see an Islamic version of the 'Life of Brian' Mirza stated "No". His answer should not be misinterpreted by Infidels as meaning that Muslims are 'monolithic kill-joys incapable of laughing at themselves.

Saudi Sentence For Being Gang-Raped Doubled

The IslamoNazi State of Saudi Arabia has come down hard on all women who allow themselves to be gang-raped. Having been forced to endure being raped 14 times by a group of Muslim men, who were unable to control their sexual urges on seeing a female ankle, a 19 year old Saudi woman was sentenced to 90 lashes for allowing the crime to happen.

Thinking this sentence may have been slightly harsh, the young lady decided to appeal on the grounds that she was actually the victim. Mad Saudi judges (that's right, the U.K. doesn't have the monopoly) concluded that she had now committed the ultimate crime of trying to influence the 'judiciary' through the media. Her sentence was more than doubled to 200 lashes and a six-month prison sentence also imposed for good measure. The victim's lawyer was also suspended from the case, had his licence to work confiscated, and now faces disciplinary action.

Top U.K. Islamonazi and head of the Infidel hating Muslim Council of Britain, Dr Muhammad Abdul Bari was said (by an anonymous source) to be furious at the decision. "How can these Saudi judges ever be taken seriously? Every 'good' Muslim knows that the penalty for such a henious crime is stoning to death. Allowing her to get off so lightly will only encourage all women to think they actually have rights under Shariah law!" he then concluded " Whatever next, allowing them to think for themselves?!!!"

6 Dead, 100s Injured - Another Productive Day in Palestine

Corrupt dead Muslim terrorist, Yasser Arafat, will be rubbing his hands with glee tonight as many pints of fresh blood were spilt today at a rally organised to commemorate the third anniversary of his death.

Palestinian Fatah supporters hurled stones at the Hamas Terror Police as the rally came to an end in Gaza. Hamas retaliated by bravely shooting into the unarmed crowd despite not having any women to hide behind. Such levels of Islamic heroism haven't been seen since earlier in the day when another brave Hamas unit launched mortars into Israel from a school.

Burkha Bitches Blow Jobs

It was a funny old week last week, lots of things to blog about but I Was feeling a bit lazy and never got round to it. So here's a short recap....

We had a Muslim hairdresser who decided to sue the owner of a trendy salon for not giving her a job. The rather unattractive Bushra Noah had refused to remove her headcovering when cutting hair!...Not sure I'd be too happy sitting in a chair knowing that a covered, politicised Muslim with a sharp implement was standing behind me! The photo is an artist's impression of the hairy hairdresser at work!

Then we had the case of the 'lyrical terrorist'. The first woman in Britain to be found guilty of terrorist related offences. Samina Malik, a 23 year old ex-prostitute, wrote poetry whilst working at W H Smith in Heathrow with titles such as 'How To Behead'. A vast array of terror info was also found hidden under her bed amongst various sex toys. Her father (who is also believed to be her elder brother) is said to be extremely angry with his daughter/sister as he will no longer receive discounted copies of 'Al Qaeda Weekly' from WHS.

Pakistan Bids For Number 1 Terror Spot

Well it's taken a few years but President Pervez Musharraf ensured that Pakistan fell back into line with almost every other Islamic state this weekend when he introduced martial law.

Known as the Second Home of International Terrorism (S.H.I.T.), Pakistan recently came close to taking the number 1 position away from King Abdullah's IslamoNazi Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, when it opened a new wave of Terror Training camps on the Afghanistan border.

Groucho Marx look-a-like, King Abdullah stated "Pakistan would be nothing without Saudi Arabia. 90% of its terrorists are born and bred in Saudi. Without us and our money they would have an Islamo Death Rating of less than 3.2". He went on "They even let some women speak! They should be ashamed of such unIslamic practices?".

One good thing to come out of the Introduction of martial law is that Jew-hating, ex-cricket cheating playboy, Imran Khan has been placed under house arrest...I would suggest that he uses this time wisely to reflect upon the numerous occasions he was caught 'ball-tampering' during his cricketing career against England. His present predicament is obviously a direct result of bad Karma in one's own lifetime.

errr, OK.... it looks like the Jew-hating, ex-cricket cheating playboy, Imran Khan has now escaped from house arrest. We all hope and pray for his safe return so that he may be swiftly executed in true Islamic fashion and can face almighty Allah where he will have to explain his heinous crimes against English cricket.