Mental Healthcare - Islamic Style

Whilst we in the West spend billions of pounds every year attempting to understand and treat the mentally ill, Muslims have used the Koran to find a far cheaper, and more effective, way of dealing with the situation.

This morning, tolerant and peaceloving followers of the death cult known as Islam unveilled their cunning plan when they forced two mentally ill women to strap explosives around their bodies and walk into a Baghdad market place full of their fellow Muslims. When a large enough crowd had gathered, a brave Muslim 'man' (hiding around the corner behind another woman) detonated the explosives.

More than 70 men, women and children were killed in this Koran inspired medical operation.

This is a worrying development for Iraq as the Muslim tradition of marrying close relatives has always produced large numbers of mentally deficient followers of the Satanic death cult.

Barbecued Muslim Leaves Earth

Well, Paradise has another mouth to feed tonight after failed terrorist, Kafeel Ahmed, died in hospital from the injuries he received whilst being a very naughty Muslim at Glasgow airport.

There was, however, one very happy lady tonight and that was Layla, AKA virgin number 1 (of 72). Layla, one of Paradise's most experienced virgins, was considered a bit of a beauty in her day. Time may not have been too kind to her but she is still considered to be excellent value for money. As Layla pointed out..."It's not easy working as a virgin in Paradise as almost all of my clients have several major body parts missing. That's why I can't wait to 'welcome' Kafeel...he may have the skin texture of BBQ'd pig but at least he'll be able to make his own breakfast in the morning!".

Layla's caring nature has made her one of Allah's favourite virgins. After 38 years of attentive service beyond the call of duty, Layla only has another 1,253 suicide bombers to satisfy before she is due for automatic retirement.