Tuesday 28 August 2007

Gunfire, Bombs and Lots of Blood...Must be a Muslim Religious Festival

What better way for Muslims to celebrate the birthday of their 9th century Imam Mahdi than to kill as many other Muslims as possible?!!!!! Various body parts littered the streets around Karbala's holy shrine as fellow followers of the 'Religion of Peace' fired rockets into hotels and randomly fired their AK47s into crowds of screaming women and children.

With 25 dead and 65 injured, many local Imams are said to be furious with the expected shortfall when the collection plates are passed round..."These people are so selfish, why couldn't they wait until after the plate had been passed round? It just isn' fair!" said one such Imam.

This latest 'incident' comes just one day after 9 Muslims were murdered by a fellow 'tolerant' Muslim who decided to detonate himself during evening prayers in a Fallujan mosque.

And, it's only two days since Iraqi PM Nouri Maliki announced a 'peace' deal between Shia, Sunni and Kurds aimed at building national unity...maybe the word 'peace' (like many others) has another meaning in Islam.

Monday 27 August 2007

New Quality Mug Range Now Available

A new range of quality mugs is now available from the Prophet Mohammed (PBUM) Official Gift Shop.

The range includes the award winning 'Shariah Law' mug and the new 'Smile if you're proud to be an Islamophobe' mug.

All mugs are 'Muslim friendly' camel urine resistant and also dishwasher safe (although hand washing is recommended due to the strength of some modern Infidel detergents).

All mugs are personally blessed by Allah and therefore guaranteed to bring wealth and good fortune.

Sunday 26 August 2007

Australian Prime Minister John Howard receives honorary Prophethood

Aussie Prime Minister John Howard has been awarded an honorary Prophethood in recognition of his brave stand against Islamonazism.
I was lucky enough to be invited to the award ceremony where Allah herself presented the coveted turban to a slightly drunk Prime Minister.

The award was made after PM Howard and other members of his cabinet made defiant speeches against Islamonazis telling them they were more than welcome to leave Australia if the freedoms and protection they enjoy offended them. He stated that good Australians were sick and tired of whining Muslims who complain at every opportunity.

'Australia will never even entertain the idea of introducing Sharia law' he told a gathering of mad mullahs foaming at the mouth...'If you don't like it then get out'. British politicians were said to be quaking in their boots at the prospect of being expected to show the same amount of courage as PM Howard.

Australia has now been forgiven for the disgraceful way they stole the Ashes back from England in 2006.

Thursday 23 August 2007

Iranian Male Sex Party Gets Out of Hand

Going out for a quick drink and a fumble with his girlfriend seemed like a good idea to 25 year old Saeed Ghanbari from Qazvin, Iran. Unfortunately, the 'Religious' police had other ideas and young Saeed was duly lashed 80 times infront of a crowd of more than 1000 men.

The event was so popular that barricades and armed guards were required as many tried climbing traffic lights for a better view. Dozens recorded the entertainment on their mobile phones as 2 police officers enthusiastically carried out their religious duties.

A local Imam stated that 'drinking and having sex outside of marriage was a serious crime. Had it been a minor offence such as killing his sister for overcooking the rice then a telling-off would have been sufficient'.

Earlier this year, a man was flogged after a copy of the Bible was found in his car. In another case a woman who had been forced into prostitution as an eight-year-old received 99 lashes for 'acts contrary to chastity'.

One of the county's top religious leaders stated 'The West is always quick to condemn Islam as a barbaric and backward religion. Personally, I don't know what all the fuss is about. Most Muslim men would pay a weeks wages to be held down and whipped by a couple of guys wearing masks...I know I would'.

Tuesday 21 August 2007

Belgian Law Firm Gets Butt Kicked By Mo (PBUM)

On May 28th 1940, Belgium capitulated to the Nazis. During the next four and a half years the vast majority of decent Belgians did everything in their power to regain their freedom and self-respect despite the vile actions of a few self-serving Belgian collaborators and their Nazi masters.

On Saturday August 19th 2007 A Belgian law firm announced its intentions to carry out, without question, the orders of 21st century Nazis when it attempted to silence the exposing of Islam by Allah's favourite prophet. Yes I know, it's unbelievable. 'Why me?...' I asked, '...what have I ever done to upset anyone?'

Well, luckily for all you Infidels, 'Afschrift' lawyer ines Wouters, acting on the orders of Mr Fouad el Koreichi, was as effective as a Belgian chocolate teapot and is expected to be tried shortly under shariah law by local Muslims for failing in her duties as an obedient Dhimmi.

Sunday 19 August 2007

Islam in Charge at BBC

The BBC has excelled itself once again. A two-part 'Casualty' special showing a Muslim suicide bomber causing carnage has been changed ever so slightly. It's now going to be a bomb planted by English animal rights extremists. A BBC spokesperson stated that it was against BBC policy to broadcast anything that may upset Muslims and therefore put BBC staff in danger. Channel 4 however, has decided that freedom of speech is actually worth defending and will defy UK Islamonazis and broadcast 'Britz', a drama featuring a Muslim female suicide bomber in London.

Well it looks like the Muslim Killing Machine is stepping up a few gears in Iraq. Not satisfied with killing 300 men, women and children by blowing up fuel tankers outside local schools they decided to launch a mortar attack in Eastern Baghdad this morning. The insurgents responsible for today's attack were, however, said to be 'deeply dissappointed' at killing only 7 women and children in the name of 'Allah the merciful'. The group's leader has now been summoned by local imams to explain his pitiful results.

Monday 13 August 2007

Happy Birthday! Here's to Another 60 Years of Self-Inflicted Poverty!

Pakistan celebrates 60 years of Islamic terrorism this week. Having gained independence from India in 1947 the country has been a role model for Islamic states worldwide ever since. Murder, rape, corruption and almost every human rights abuse known to mankind has helped Pakistan become recognised as a state that really does follow the true principles of Islam.

Whereas India has one of the fastest growing economies in the world, Pakistan's main export is death and misery via its state sponsored terrorist training camps in the northern border region.

An attempt had been made by the West to introduce a thing called 'fun' into Pakistani society but Mad Mullahs quickly pointed out that this was a totally unIslamic concept and would therefore not be tolerated. "The West is evil..." said one such Mullah, "...these dogs think they can turn peaceful and tolerant Muslims away from the glory of killing but they underestimate how easy it is for people like me to manipulate them".

To celebrate the 60th birthday it has been decided by the country's religious leaders to throw a big party. Although laughter will be strictly forbidden, hysterical displays of satisfaction will be permitted on completion of the main event...the main event being the stoning to death of several women who allowed themselves to be raped...coincidentally, these will also be the only women allowed to attend the celebrations... "Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar" uttered the 'dumb', one-handed thief as he feasted on yesterday's leftover cockroach...isn't he just!


Sunday 12 August 2007

Dutch porn star says Koran is worse than Mein Kampf!

At long last someone has called for the Quran to be banned. The irony is that the call has come from a politician in Europe's most liberal country! Dutch MP Geert Wilders may look like a well endowed seventies porn star but he obviously has a decent sized brain too under those flowing golden locks!

The call came after Esham Jami, a young Dutch politician who established a group to support people who have renounced Islam, was brutally attacked by a Muslim gang. Jami is now under police protection for daring to help Muslims who have left the teachings of the dark side. Wliders quoted several surahs from the Quran that called on Muslims to "oppress, persecute or kill Christians, Jews, dissidents and non-believers, to beat and rape women and to establish an Islamic state by force". He said Holland should "Ban this wretched book like Mein Kampf is banned! Send a signal to Jami's attackers and other Islamic radicals that the Quran cannot be used in the Netherlands as an inspiration or an excuse for violence."

On a personal note, I would like to add that it is inexcusable for anybody to mock Allah's favourite book. No such behavour will be tolerated on this blog!

Tuesday 7 August 2007

Britain Running Out of Muslim Terrorists

It would appear that the U.K. may be running out of Muslim terrorists. In an attempt to avoid such a devastating catastrophe the Government has urgently requested the immediate return of 5 Islamic terrorists currently held in Guantanamo Bay. Although none of the 5 are U.K. citizens, Prime Minister Gordon Brown feels that a lack of Islamic terrorists in Britain would quickly lead to a shortage of suitable role models for young Muslims receiving benefits from the country they hate. Despite all 5 having undeniable terrorist links each of them has been able to convince naive liberals at groups such as 'Amnesty' and 'Liberty' of their innocence.

OMAR DEGHAYES - Was actually caught on film at a Muslim Terror camp but claimed 'mistaken identity' when detained fleeing Afghanistan after the fall of the Taleban.

SHAKER ABDUR-RAHEEM AAMER - Claimed he was merely carrying out 'voluntary charity work' in Afghanistan.
ABDULNOUR SAMEUR - Wounded in Afghanistan (where he had travelled to be a 'good' muslim) whilst fighting alongside a group of Arabs. Also admitted prior knowledge of 9/11.

JAMIL EL-BANNA - Has links to imprisoned radical Muslim cleric Abu Qatada.

BINYAM MOHAMMED AL HABASHI - Received firearms and explosives training in Afghanistan with shoe-bomber Richard Reid.

It must be dificult being a Muslim these days. Just because you carry an AK47 and several hand grenades everybody thinks you're a terrorist!!!...Thank Allah for 'Amnesty International' and 'Liberty'.

Hamas Murders More Children

In an effort to avoid the 'embarrassment' of murdering even more of their own children, Palestinian terrorists have today been allowed by their religious leaders to spend a little less time slavishly reciting quranic hate verses at prayer time in order to spend more time studying the instructions for firing portable rockets.

The 'Religious' order comes after a terrorist attempt earlier today, aimed at scuppering Israel/Palestine peace moves, resulted in the
death of an 8 year old Palestinian boy and his younger sister when several rockets fell short of their proposed Israeli target and landed in Northern Gaza instead. Souces in the area said 'This is not an unusual occurrence'

This latest Islamic 'own goal' has been described as Hamas' worst 'miscalculation' since they murdered 8 Palestinians in the now infamous 'Gaza Beach Massacre'.

Hamas' spokesperson was said to be 'unavailable' for comment.

Monday 6 August 2007

Galloway Wants to Ban Dogs!

He's at it again....Corrupt M.P. 'Mad-Dog' George Galloway today stated that he wanted to ban all dogs from the U.K.

Standing in (badly) for the brilliant Jon 'Gaunty' Gaunt on radio's talkSPORT he stated that if he had his way he would 'ban all dogs from Britain because they were a danger to the public and served no purpose'.

Egged on by emails/calls from several callers (most named Mohammed, Ali etc) he declared that he would attempt to introduce a Private Members' bill in the next session of Parliament. If successful, the bill would fulfill the Islamic dream of a 'dog-free' Britain. The reason for the radio 'discussion' was the horrific attack on a small child by a Staffordshire Bull Terrier this weekend. Galloway argued that if a ban saved just one child from suffering such injuries then it would be worth it.


Superb reasoning! But hang on a minute, there are over 3 times as many dogs in Britain than there are Muslims. Yet Muslims kill and maim more than 50 times more innocent men, women and children than dogs...maybe George should make a slight amendment to his proposed bill ;o)

Friday 3 August 2007

Barbecued Muslim Leaves Earth

Well, Paradise has another mouth to feed tonight after failed terrorist, Kafeel Ahmed, died in hospital from the injuries he received whilst being a very naughty Muslim at Glasgow airport.

There was, however, one very happy lady tonight and that was Layla, AKA virgin number 1 (of 72). Layla, one of Paradise's most experienced virgins, was considered a bit of a beauty in her day. Time may not have been too kind to her but she is still considered to be excellent value for money. As Layla pointed out..."It's not easy working as a virgin in Paradise as almost all of my clients have several major body parts missing. That's why I can't wait to 'welcome' Kafeel...he may have the skin texture of BBQ'd pig but at least he'll be able to make his own breakfast in the morning!".

Layla's caring nature has made her one of Allah's favourite virgins. After 38 years of attentive service beyond the call of duty, Layla only has another 1,253 suicide bombers to satisfy before she is due for automatic retirement.




Wednesday 1 August 2007

Planes, Flames and Naughty M.P.s

Well it's been a funny few weeks for Muslims. First they try to blow up hundreds of people in London for taking part in the un-Islamic activity of having fun...and then they try to scare everybody to death at Glasgow airport by setting fire to themselves. These people really are stupid...didn't they realise if they'd have done it on November 5th they could have raised loads of money by having a 'Penny for the Guy' collection!

It's over 100 degrees, the sun's beating down and you're in Iran....Yes, it must be time to send the Religious Police out to make sure that all women are covered from head to toe in black. And all because Muslim men can't control their sexual urges. Who ever said Islam was a backward religion that discriminates against women?

And now for the feel-good factor.... Part time M.P. and ex-holder of the coveted 'Turban of Death' award, George Galloway, has been found guilty (again) of stealing money from the Iraqi 'oil for food' programme by yet another independent investigation. The embarrassing bully boy of British politics looked guiltier than a Muslim attending Alchoholics Anonymous as he launched into a desperate attack on those that exposed him. Although the corrupt M.P. cannot produce any accounts for his 'Mariam Appeal' to prove he isn't a thief, he is adamant he has nothing to hide! "My dog ate them one evening whilst I was watching re-runs of Celebrity Big Brother" ...said the socialist millionaire.