Prophet Mohammed's (Peace Be Upon Me) Top Ten Prophecies for 2008

Well, 2007 has been a very good year for Muslims ie plenty of death, torture, persecution of the weak and threats of total annihilation for anybody who doesn't follow the teachings of the dark side...Just what the Quran ordered.

Muslims this year have actually killed far more of their fellow Muslims than Infidels. The Muslim:Muslim kill ratio currently stands at 8.4 on the Kalashnikov scale and is up for the 7th year running. If the current upward trend continues we should see a welcome solution to the Muslim problem by about 2175AD - Any ideas to speed up the process will be gratefully accepted.

Anyway, back to the important stuff, me... prophesising is an important part of my job as a prophet, so to avoid being relieved of my duties as Allah's favourite prophet I thought I'd make a few prophecies about what's in store for 2008. So here goes...

Prophet Mohammed's (Peace Be Upon Me) Top Ten Prophecies for 2008.

1. Muslims will be responsible for between 99-100% of all acts of terrorism.

2. Muslim 'men' will treat their women as second class citizens.

3. No teacher in Sudan will name a teddy bear 'Mohammed'.

4. Evolution will continue to bypass Islamic countries.

5. Racial and religious hatred will continue to be openly preached in most UK (insert your own country) mosques.

6. George Galloway, Part time MP and ex holder of the Turban of Death, will still be corrupt and will continue to carry out the orders of his Muslim masters.

7. The Quran will still be the best value toilet paper money can buy.

8. Pakistan will 'elect' a leader who'll end up with several very large Swiss bank accounts.

9. The vast majority of Muslims will still be living in abject poverty.

10. All Muslims will still be living in the 7th Century.

10a. Allah still won't exist.

10b. Secretary General of the Islamonazi Council of Britain, Dr Muhammad Abdul Bari, will still openly support wife beating, stoning women, forced marriages (but only for girls over the age of 9) and a total ban on bikinis and alchohol (unless it's in the privacy of Dr Bari's own S&M bed 'chamber').

10c. It will still be a crime to get raped in most Islamic countries.

10d. Palestinians will do everything in their power to avoid the establishment of a Palestinian state and the resulting chaos, death, murder and corruption that would inevitibly follow - Much easier to keep the status quo and carry on blaming Israel for everything.

10e. Muslims will still be incapable of creating an effigy to burn that looks even remotely like the person they'd like to dismember with a rusty sword.

On behalf of Allah and myself I'd like to wish
everybody (including Infidels) a happy and peaceful 2008.

and remember... Above all else, the Devil cannot stand to be mocked.

U.K. Muslim Terrorist Shortage Averted

Britain's 'Muslim friendly' parliamentarians yesterday breathed a huge sigh of relief when they finally succeeded in importing 3 Islamic terrorists from Guantanamo Bay to help replenish the U.K.'s depleted stock. The severe lack of attempted Islamic terrorist atrocities since the failed London and Glasgow bombings in July, led many U.K. policiticians to become concerned that Britain was no longer seen as a safe haven for mad Muslims hell bent on murdering its citizens.

'We must send out the right message' said PM Gordon Brown.

Although none of the terrorists are actually British and none of them even have a right to be here, PM Brown is allowing them to stay on the basis that they once visited this country before going on 'holiday' to that popular (with 'disaffected' Muslim 'men') tourist destination called the Afghanistan War Zone. An Amnesty International spokesperson stated that the 3 terrorists, armed only with a camera (plus a small kalashnikov and several anti-tank RPGs), were inexplicably detained by U.S. forces whilst doing what any Muslim holidaymaker in Afghanistan would do ie trying to kill anybody not wearing a 12" beard or a Niqab.

The 3 Muslim meglomaniacs, Omar Deghayes, Jamil el-Banna and Abdenour Samuer, are now free to roam Britain's streets. Their lawyer, Clive 'I Love Legal Aid' Stafford-Smith, stated 'The human rights of my clients must be respected at all times. They must never be arrested until they have actually carried out the mass murder of civilians that they may, or may not, be planning. To hold somebody against their will purely on the basis that hundreds or thousands of innocent lives will almost certainly be saved is disgraceful'.

Shami Chakrabati, Director of the terrorist defence organisation Liberty, was said to be licking her lips on hearing the terrorists' human rights were bought at the potential expense of innocent blood, once again, flowing freely through Britain's streets.

Well I'll Be Buggered!

On the day when my 'Justice for the Sudan 1' campaign forced the IslamoNazi government of Sudan to release schoolteacher Gillian Gibbons, I am now in a position to shed some light on a 50 year old enigma.

If you've ever wondered why 1.5 billion Muslims, with all their military might, have never been able to shift a few million Jews from Israel then wonder no more!

It's long been known that imams use Pakistan's 20,000 Madrassas as places to groom young boys for underage sex (see pic above for proof) but now it has come to light that Muslim warlords also have an unhealthy desire to bugger young boys. At a time when you'd expect them to be planning decisive military campaigns against the Infidel, most Muslim warlords are far too busy dressing up young boys to look like girls. After a few dances to the Tweets' Birdy Song the children are then routinely sexually assaulted by the heroic Muslim Fighters.

Known as bacha bereesh (boys without beards) they are highly prized in many parts of the Islamic world. Enayatullah, a 42 year old landowner said "I was married to a woman 20 years ago, she left me because of my boy," he said. "I was playing with my boy every night and was away from home, eventually my wife decided to leave me. I am happy with my decision, because I am used to sleeping and entertaining with my young boy."

When asked about this disgusting and abusive 'tradition', a spokeperson for the Muslim Council of Britain refused to condemn the practice stating "Don't knock it until you've tried it".

If You Go Down To The School Today, You're In For A Big Surprise.

In a land hardened by the horrors of genocide and ethnic cleansing, a 54 year old English schoolteacher has actually managed to offend the 'sensitivities' of the entire Muslim population of Sudan when she named a teddy bear 'Muhammed'. The name was chosen after a vote was held amongst a class of 6 & 7 year olds. This heinous crime carries a punishment of up to 6 months in jail and/or 40 lashes.

The teacher, Gillian Gibbons, was arrested on Sunday by police from the IslamoNazi Ministry of Indoctrination and Education. They also want to interview the owner of the bear, a 6 year old child, who with any luck, may avoid being hanged. Many outside observers believe the authorities are more upset at the democratic way in which the name was chosen than by the actual naming itself.

Top U.K. IslamoNazi, Dr Muhammad Abdul Bari, leader of terrorist support group The Muslim Council of Britain (MCB), today expressed support for the decision to arrest her. "Teddy bears are cute and cuddly and bring much joy to many people. They do not kill and they are not paedophiles. They do not bully smaller teddy bears and have never been known to slit the throats of younger sister bears who decide to marry outside of their species; therefore, they have nothing in common with, and should never be named, Muhammed".

Dr Bari's own teddy bear is affectionately called 'Kill the Infidel Dog'.

Always Look on the Bright Side of Death

As part of its 'Bending Over Backwards to Appease Muslims' season, BBC journalist, Yasmeen Khan, has just finished an 'indepth' investigation and concluded that Muslims really do have a sense of humour! No, this isn't a spoof report for Comic Relief she really did come to that conclusion...AND ANYBODY WHO DISAGREES WITH HER WILL DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH!!!!!

The BBC even managed to find a photo of a smiling Muslim (and without a recently beheaded Infidel in sight) ... this, according to Ms Khan, really is proof that Muslims don't just find humour in death, misery and suffering!

Ibrahim Mogra, chairman of the interfaith Muslim Public Affairs Committee (or is that the Muslim Interfaith Public Affairs Committee?) says "religiously there is no reason why Muslims can't enjoy a laugh"... Maybe he'd be kind enough to share this revelation with the rest of the Muslim community.

Muslim 'comic', Jeff Mirza, blames the media for portraying Muslims as 'monolithic' kill-joys incapable of laughing at themselves. When asked if we were ever likely to see an Islamic version of the 'Life of Brian' Mirza stated "No". His answer should not be misinterpreted by Infidels as meaning that Muslims are 'monolithic kill-joys incapable of laughing at themselves.

Saudi Sentence For Being Gang-Raped Doubled

The IslamoNazi State of Saudi Arabia has come down hard on all women who allow themselves to be gang-raped. Having been forced to endure being raped 14 times by a group of Muslim men, who were unable to control their sexual urges on seeing a female ankle, a 19 year old Saudi woman was sentenced to 90 lashes for allowing the crime to happen.

Thinking this sentence may have been slightly harsh, the young lady decided to appeal on the grounds that she was actually the victim. Mad Saudi judges (that's right, the U.K. doesn't have the monopoly) concluded that she had now committed the ultimate crime of trying to influence the 'judiciary' through the media. Her sentence was more than doubled to 200 lashes and a six-month prison sentence also imposed for good measure. The victim's lawyer was also suspended from the case, had his licence to work confiscated, and now faces disciplinary action.

Top U.K. Islamonazi and head of the Infidel hating Muslim Council of Britain, Dr Muhammad Abdul Bari was said (by an anonymous source) to be furious at the decision. "How can these Saudi judges ever be taken seriously? Every 'good' Muslim knows that the penalty for such a henious crime is stoning to death. Allowing her to get off so lightly will only encourage all women to think they actually have rights under Shariah law!" he then concluded " Whatever next, allowing them to think for themselves?!!!"

6 Dead, 100s Injured - Another Productive Day in Palestine

Corrupt dead Muslim terrorist, Yasser Arafat, will be rubbing his hands with glee tonight as many pints of fresh blood were spilt today at a rally organised to commemorate the third anniversary of his death.

Palestinian Fatah supporters hurled stones at the Hamas Terror Police as the rally came to an end in Gaza. Hamas retaliated by bravely shooting into the unarmed crowd despite not having any women to hide behind. Such levels of Islamic heroism haven't been seen since earlier in the day when another brave Hamas unit launched mortars into Israel from a school.

Burkha Bitches Blow Jobs

It was a funny old week last week, lots of things to blog about but I Was feeling a bit lazy and never got round to it. So here's a short recap....

We had a Muslim hairdresser who decided to sue the owner of a trendy salon for not giving her a job. The rather unattractive Bushra Noah had refused to remove her headcovering when cutting hair!...Not sure I'd be too happy sitting in a chair knowing that a covered, politicised Muslim with a sharp implement was standing behind me! The photo is an artist's impression of the hairy hairdresser at work!

Then we had the case of the 'lyrical terrorist'. The first woman in Britain to be found guilty of terrorist related offences. Samina Malik, a 23 year old ex-prostitute, wrote poetry whilst working at W H Smith in Heathrow with titles such as 'How To Behead'. A vast array of terror info was also found hidden under her bed amongst various sex toys. Her father (who is also believed to be her elder brother) is said to be extremely angry with his daughter/sister as he will no longer receive discounted copies of 'Al Qaeda Weekly' from WHS.

Pakistan Bids For Number 1 Terror Spot

Well it's taken a few years but President Pervez Musharraf ensured that Pakistan fell back into line with almost every other Islamic state this weekend when he introduced martial law.

Known as the Second Home of International Terrorism (S.H.I.T.), Pakistan recently came close to taking the number 1 position away from King Abdullah's IslamoNazi Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, when it opened a new wave of Terror Training camps on the Afghanistan border.

Groucho Marx look-a-like, King Abdullah stated "Pakistan would be nothing without Saudi Arabia. 90% of its terrorists are born and bred in Saudi. Without us and our money they would have an Islamo Death Rating of less than 3.2". He went on "They even let some women speak! They should be ashamed of such unIslamic practices?".

One good thing to come out of the Introduction of martial law is that Jew-hating, ex-cricket cheating playboy, Imran Khan has been placed under house arrest...I would suggest that he uses this time wisely to reflect upon the numerous occasions he was caught 'ball-tampering' during his cricketing career against England. His present predicament is obviously a direct result of bad Karma in one's own lifetime.

errr, OK.... it looks like the Jew-hating, ex-cricket cheating playboy, Imran Khan has now escaped from house arrest. We all hope and pray for his safe return so that he may be swiftly executed in true Islamic fashion and can face almighty Allah where he will have to explain his heinous crimes against English cricket.

Saudi Dictator Arrives in U.K. Disguised as Groucho Marx

His Islamonaziness King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia was today greeted by ex 'Turban of Death' holder, HRH Prince Charlie, on his visit to the United Kingdom. Charlie sees the visit as an integral part of his quest to be accepted as the official representative of Islam in the United Kingdom.

Topics that weren't on the agenda for discussion included women's rights (women aren't even allowed to drive in Saudi), Homosexuality (a big no, no in Saudi - if you want to keep your head attached to your shoulders) and religion (other than Islam, of course). Charlie has felt drawn towards Islam ever since he realised that being Muslim meant he would be allowed to beat his disobedient wives (surah 4:34).

His Islamonaziness is ranked number 5 in the 'World's Worst Dictator' list and has won several Groucho Marx lookalike competitions.

MCB Can't deny Islam is Misogynistic, Homophobic, anti-semitic etc etc

An anonymous spokesman at MCB Nazi HQ was today unable to defend Islam against a few simple words of truth spoken by respected author Martin Amis (Peace Be Upon Him). Having been branded an Islamophobe (well, who isn't these days) for daring to speak out against fanatical Muslims in the past, Mr Amis (PBUH) yesterday said "There are great problems with Islam. The Koran recommends the beating of women. The anti-Semites, the psychotic misogynists and the homophobes are the Islamists."

The MCB spokesman seemed stunned that anybody would dare to utter such words of truth about the 'peaceful and tolerant' religion that claims almost as many lives every year as AIDS.

Struggling to find any credible denial of Amis' (PBUH) statement, the book-burning MCB spokesman decided to use the standard Islamonazi response of branding Amis a 'racist'. This tired and predictable response is also completely wrong as Islam is not a race, it is an evil death cult that bans its followers from having fun.

Spot The Terrorist

Whilst most people go to the New Forest in Hampshire for a relaxing day out or a spot of camping, Muslims have now found a use for it worthy of their 'peaceful and tolerant' religion. Forget the bandit territory on the Afghan/Pakistan border, the New Forest is now the Official Preferred Terrorist Training Camp for all UK Muslims.

A 2 week Terror Training Package (half board with ammo included) costs as little as 2 days' dole money. This was far too good an opportunity to miss for several young dysfunctional Muslims., most of whom were bearded and all of whom were extremely ugly and socially inept. The only chance they'd ever get to have sex with a woman would be to blow themselves up, taking as many innocent people as possible with them, and receive the gratitude of Allah's 72 imaginary virgins.

Mousa Brown, 41, of Walthamstow, east London; Kibley da Costa, 24, of West Norwood, south-east London; Mohammed Al-Figari, 42, of Tottenham, north London, and Kader Ahmed, 20, of Plaistow, east London all put their faith in the hands of Virgin Leader Mohammed Hamid, 50...Now they all face long prison sentences where they will all almost certainly lose their virginity - although not quite as they had intended.

Anybody wishing to book an action-packed New Forest Terror Training Package should contact the new UK agent for Death Holidays at the following email georgegallowaydotcom@gmail.com

The New NHS Lottery

Many UK Muslim medical students have now decided to follow a 'modified' version of the hypocratic oath . Instead of dedicating their lives to improving the well-being of their fellow human beings irrespective or race, religion, creed, wealth etc they have decided that all patients will be dealt with in accordance with the doctors' own perverted interpretation of the IslamoNazi-inspired Koran.

This brings new meaning to the term 'NHS lottery', a term usually given to the insane situation where somebody could have treatment refused in their own health authority area but would have received it had they lived elsewhere! Now we have a situation where not only does it depend on your postcode but also on your religion, sex, sexual orientation and lifestyle.

A senior NHS manager (who wished to remain anonymous) stated 'The NHS is at crisis level. A couple of months ago we had Muslim doctors attempting to murder as many inncocent men, women and children as possible at Glasgow airport. Then we had the Butcher of Bury dentist, Omer Butt, who couldn't control his sexual urges and refused to treat a woman unless she covered up. And, now we have the next generation of doctors wishing to decide who they treat. God help anybody who's female, a homosexual, has an STD, has been raped, has been beaten by their husband, has had a drink, has eaten a bacon sandwich and/or doesn't pray to Mecca 5 times a day'.

A leading NHS spokesperson (who also wished to remain anonymous) added 'We looked very closely at the recent Sainsbury's policy (reported on this blog) and feel that the easiest way to deal with Muslim sensitivities in the NHS is total submission. As from next Monday, any Muslim not wishing to deal with Infidels will be able to kill them and move on to the next more 'Islamo-sensitive' patient'.

Ban the Koran

Infidels, do your duty!

Allah feels that all Muslims should now find a new book to read.
He suggests they choose something a little more light-hearted this time.
Click here to sign the petition.

Sainsbury's Sell their Soul to the Devil

Sainsbury's supermarket has succumbed to Islam and publicly stated that its Muslim employees can decide which products they wish to sell.

Apparantly, some Muslim employees are unhappy with their Infidel employers for selling grotesque items such as alchohol and pork based products. Sainsbury's bosses have decided that they daren't risk upsetting the aforementioned employees just in case it leads to worldwide rioting and the murder of innocent women and children as in the global cartoonophobia uprising of february 2006.

A Sainsbury's spokesperson (who wished to remain anonymous) stated "We want all our sensitive Muslim workers to feel at home. This is just a pilot scheme, but if successful, we will also consider giving disobedient female Muslim members of staff the right to be beaten by their male colleagues", he then added "We are currently awaiting delivery of signs asking all Infidel customers not to look at any female Muslim workers. All of us in the boardroom feel this should keep the Muslim community happy until we get round to banning Christmas ".

Inayat Bunglawala, assistant secretary-general of the Terrorist supporting Islamonazi Council of Britain (MCB) said "Alchohol is the drink of the devil. How is one supposed to accurately aim a rocket propelled grenade whilst under the influence of such a drink?".

Muslim Terror Dentist A Danger to Women

Islamonazi dentist Omer Butt (brother of 'former' Islamic extremist Hassan Butt) was today found guilty of trying to bully a non-practicing Muslim lady into wearing a headscarf before he would treat her for toothache at his Bury practice.

Known locally as 'The Butcher of Bury' due to his sadistic interest in the effects of pain on small children and defenceless women, Butt's defence was exposed as a 'tissue of lies' (despite swearing on the Quran) at the General Medical Council (GMC) hearing.

A spokesperson for the GMC (who wished to remain anonymous) stated 'Butt has lied from start to finish during this hearing. His inability to control his sexual urges upon seeing a woman's hair means he is a danger to women...Butt is yet another example of why some Muslim men should not be employed in the NHS.'

The hearing has long been seen as a test case for the NHS . Many Muslim Health workers such as Butt believe that uncovered female patients incite Muslim men to carry out acts of sexual abuse and therefore have a duty to cover themselves up for their own protection. Women, however, state that the onus should be placed on Muslim men to control their sexual urges in the first place.

If you are a Muslim male and need help controlling your sexual urges when confronted with a burkha-free female then please feel free to 'Ask Mo' for advice.

"Our son is no terrorist, just a young Muslim (who hated Infidels)'

The Islamonazi parents of Mohammed Atif Siddique (the young Muslim terrorist convicted of terrorist offences in a Scottish court last week) are still in a severe case of denial over the murderous intentions of their terrorist son. All parents have a right to believe that their own children are not genocidal maniacs addicted to fresh blood but the Siddiques have been advised to seek urgent medical assistance to treat their delusional disorder.

Mohammed (the father) Siddique stated that his son was guilty of nothing more than a healthy interest in Islam (most sane people would say this was reason enough to lock him up) . Mohammed (the terrorist) was arrested as he tried to board a plane bound for a terrorist training camp in Pakistan with a known al-Qaeda terrorist. A subsequent search of his UK terrorist safe-house found a near endless stash of terrorist training material together with a few Saturday night Islamic entertainment videos of Infidel beheadings (widely available from all good mosques).

Speaking to the Scotsman newspaper Mohammed's (the terrorist) brother Asif, inadvertantly admitted his brother's guilt when he stated "I was of the opinion a few years ago that unless s*** was happening on my own doorstep, it was nothing to do with me. Atif was different. He was of the belief that it was to do with us."

Aamer Anwar, well known Islamonazi lawyer, couldn't believe that a jury of Infidels would dare find a Muslim terrorist guilty of terrorism. "Don't they realise the punishment for standing up to Muslims?" he stated with a glint in his eye.

Bin Laden Burkha Bimbo to Divorce

Sorry about my enforced absence. This was due to an Islamonazi instigated 'technical' issue which has now been resolved - Allah's kind intervention ensured that Freedom of Speech has once again prevailed.

Anyway, back to business! And the 'big' story of the day has to be the 'Bin Laden Divorce'. Yes, it was a surprise to everyone to hear that 5 (now 6) times divorced Jane Felix-Browne's marriage to Osama Bin Laden's 27 year old son Omar didn't last more than 5 minutes. The 51 year old 'burkha babe' wannabe met Bin Laden whilst on a 3 day drinking spree in Egypt.

On hearing news of the marriage back in July, an anonymous vicar from her home town of Moulton said "I would like to wish Jane and Omar every happiness. I have not been forced to make this statement against my will and my family have not been threatened with immediate beheading if I do not read this statement out. Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar".

Rumours that Omar Bin Laden's penis was too small for the sex-mad ex prostitute were strenuously denied by the red-faced Arab who stated "I have very big willy. At 2.5 inches it has won many 'Biggest Muslim Willy' contests."

An anonymous source close to the couple said that Ms Felix-Browne-Bin-Laden (as she likes to be known) was not the sharpest knife in the drawer and had misunderstood Islamic laws on multiple spouses. The source stated "Having expected to be pleasured by several husbands each night, she was disappointed to learn that her new husband already had several other wives (none of whom had ever been sexually fulfilled by little Omar) and that she would not be allowed to take another husband unless she liked being stoned to death". Alas, Ms F-B-B-L and an aging camel called Cecil soon became very close friends.

Other news... I see peaceloving and tolerant Muslims have killed an anti-Syrian MP in Christian Beirut when they blew up his car. Hezbollah are said to be furious that only 3 innocent women and children were also killed in the blast.

More to come soon!!!

PS Happy Ramadan ;o)

Islamonazi Induction Test Goes Kaput

Two German Islamonazi converts and their Muslim mentor were today arrested as final preparations for their induction into Islam were uncovered by German police who discovered their plot to detonate several 'massive' bombs all in the name of 'Allah'.

The bombs would have killed and maimed thousands of innocent men, women and children had the induction test been successful. The two Germans described as 'perfect recruits for the Islamic cause' by the Imam of Neu-Ulm mosque both had extremely low IQs. Recent studies have indicated that 78% of converts to Islam have an IQ less than a third of the average Westerner. The other 22% will almost certainaly have a penchant for fresh blood and/or devil worship whilst retaining an unhealthy interest in falafel.

Whilst the rest of Europe seems to be waking up to the threat from genocidal Muslims, Germany has been criticised for burying its head in the sand. This seems to be one reason why Muslim terrorists have adopted Germany as their main terror training base in Western Europe.

A proposed new strategy by German scientists to eradicate Muslim terrorism is currently being considered by many Western governments. The main thrust is believed to be a new way to increase the IQ of those considered most susceptible to brain-washing. 'Once the IQ is raised, they will see Islam for what it is - an evil death cult based on the mad rantings of a war-mongering paedophile' said the most brainiest man in the whole wide world...and he should know!

Message From Allah

Allah has been so happy with my first month of blogging that he just wanted to say a few words...

"Greetings Muslim and Infidel dogs. My favourite prophet has done well and I am extremely pleased with all the lovely feedback that has been left. Being god is not always easy so it's good that I can delegate a few things to Mo (PBUH) every now and then. It would have been nice if he was still half the man he used to be, then he could also help me out with my strenuous monthly 'virgin testing' duties but, alas, Aysha has obviously tired him out!

"It's my favourite time of year coming up soon. Ramadan!!!! You will never know how much pleasure it gives me to see all my Muslim followers starving themselves whilst me and Mo (PBUH) gorge ouselves on lovely fresh cream cakes. Their slavish displays of devotion are most worthy (although a little mis-guided) and they shall have their rewards in Heaven (provided George Galloway hasn't stolen them all) ... that's the 'official' line, anyway...I am Great, I am Great, I am Great"

Gunfire, Bombs and Lots of Blood...Must be a Muslim Religious Festival

What better way for Muslims to celebrate the birthday of their 9th century Imam Mahdi than to kill as many other Muslims as possible?!!!!! Various body parts littered the streets around Karbala's holy shrine as fellow followers of the 'Religion of Peace' fired rockets into hotels and randomly fired their AK47s into crowds of screaming women and children.

With 25 dead and 65 injured, many local Imams are said to be furious with the expected shortfall when the collection plates are passed round..."These people are so selfish, why couldn't they wait until after the plate had been passed round? It just isn' fair!" said one such Imam.

This latest 'incident' comes just one day after 9 Muslims were murdered by a fellow 'tolerant' Muslim who decided to detonate himself during evening prayers in a Fallujan mosque.

And, it's only two days since Iraqi PM Nouri Maliki announced a 'peace' deal between Shia, Sunni and Kurds aimed at building national unity...maybe the word 'peace' (like many others) has another meaning in Islam.

New Quality Mug Range Now Available

A new range of quality mugs is now available from the Prophet Mohammed (PBUM) Official Gift Shop.

The range includes the award winning 'Shariah Law' mug and the new 'Smile if you're proud to be an Islamophobe' mug.

All mugs are 'Muslim friendly' camel urine resistant and also dishwasher safe (although hand washing is recommended due to the strength of some modern Infidel detergents).

All mugs are personally blessed by Allah and therefore guaranteed to bring wealth and good fortune.

Australian Prime Minister John Howard receives honorary Prophethood

Aussie Prime Minister John Howard has been awarded an honorary Prophethood in recognition of his brave stand against Islamonazism.
I was lucky enough to be invited to the award ceremony where Allah herself presented the coveted turban to a slightly drunk Prime Minister.

The award was made after PM Howard and other members of his cabinet made defiant speeches against Islamonazis telling them they were more than welcome to leave Australia if the freedoms and protection they enjoy offended them. He stated that good Australians were sick and tired of whining Muslims who complain at every opportunity.

'Australia will never even entertain the idea of introducing Sharia law' he told a gathering of mad mullahs foaming at the mouth...'If you don't like it then get out'. British politicians were said to be quaking in their boots at the prospect of being expected to show the same amount of courage as PM Howard.

Click here to read the full story

Australia has now been forgiven for the disgraceful way they stole the Ashes back from England in 2006.

Iranian Male Sex Party Gets Out of Hand

Going out for a quick drink and a fumble with his girlfriend seemed like a good idea to 25 year old Saeed Ghanbari from Qazvin, Iran. Unfortunately, the 'Religious' police had other ideas and young Saeed was duly lashed 80 times infront of a crowd of more than 1000 men.

The event was so popular that barricades and armed guards were required as many tried climbing traffic lights for a better view. Dozens recorded the entertainment on their mobile phones as 2 police officers enthusiastically carried out their religious duties.

A local Imam stated that 'drinking and having sex outside of marriage was a serious crime. Had it been a minor offence such as killing his sister for overcooking the rice then a telling-off would have been sufficient'.

Earlier this year, a man was flogged after a copy of the Bible was found in his car. In another case a woman who had been forced into prostitution as an eight-year-old received 99 lashes for 'acts contrary to chastity'.

One of the county's top religious leaders stated 'The West is always quick to condemn Islam as a barbaric and backward religion. Personally, I don't know what all the fuss is about. Most Muslim men would pay a weeks wages to be held down and whipped by a couple of guys wearing masks...I know I would'.

Belgian Law Firm Gets Butt Kicked By Mo (PBUM)

On May 28th 1940, Belgium capitulated to the Nazis. During the next four and a half years the vast majority of decent Belgians did everything in their power to regain their freedom and self-respect despite the vile actions of a few self-serving Belgian collaborators and their Nazi masters.

On Saturday August 19th 2007 A Belgian law firm announced its intentions to carry out, without question, the orders of 21st century Nazis when it attempted to silence the exposing of Islam by Allah's favourite prophet. Yes I know, it's unbelievable. 'Why me?...' I asked, '...what have I ever done to upset anyone?'

Well, luckily for all you Infidels, 'Afschrift' lawyer ines Wouters, acting on the orders of Mr Fouad el Koreichi, was as effective as a Belgian chocolate teapot and is expected to be tried shortly under shariah law by local Muslims for failing in her duties as an obedient Dhimmi.

Click here to read the full story and see Ms Wouters threatening emails

Islam in Charge at BBC

The BBC has excelled itself once again. A two-part 'Casualty' special showing a Muslim suicide bomber causing carnage has been changed ever so slightly. It's now going to be a bomb planted by English animal rights extremists. A BBC spokesperson stated that it was against BBC policy to broadcast anything that may upset Muslims and therefore put BBC staff in danger. Channel 4 however, has decided that freedom of speech is actually worth defending and will defy UK Islamonazis and broadcast 'Britz', a drama featuring a Muslim female suicide bomber in London.

Well it looks like the Muslim Killing Machine is stepping up a few gears in Iraq. Not satisfied with killing 300 men, women and children by blowing up fuel tankers outside local schools they decided to launch a mortar attack in Eastern Baghdad this morning. The insurgents responsible for today's attack were, however, said to be 'deeply dissappointed' at killing only 7 women and children in the name of 'Allah the merciful'. The group's leader has now been summoned by local imams to explain his pitiful results.

Happy Birthday! Here's to Another 60 Years of Self-Inflicted Poverty!

Pakistan celebrates 60 years of Islamic terrorism this week. Having gained independence from India in 1947 the country has been a role model for Islamic states worldwide ever since. Murder, rape, corruption and almost every human rights abuse known to mankind has helped Pakistan become recognised as a state that really does follow the true principles of Islam.

Whereas India has one of the fastest growing economies in the world, Pakistan's main export is death and misery via its state sponsored terrorist training camps in the northern border region.

An attempt had been made by the West to introduce a thing called 'fun' into Pakistani society but Mad Mullahs quickly pointed out that this was a totally unIslamic concept and would therefore not be tolerated. "The West is evil..." said one such Mullah, "...these dogs think they can turn peaceful and tolerant Muslims away from the glory of killing but they underestimate how easy it is for people like me to manipulate them".

To celebrate the 60th birthday it has been decided by the country's religious leaders to throw a big party. Although laughter will be strictly forbidden, hysterical displays of satisfaction will be permitted on completion of the main event...the main event being the stoning to death of several women who allowed themselves to be raped...coincidentally, these will also be the only women allowed to attend the celebrations... "Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar" uttered the 'dumb', one-handed thief as he feasted on yesterday's leftover cockroach...isn't he just!

Dutch porn star says Koran is worse than Mein Kampf!

At long last someone has called for the Quran to be banned. The irony is that the call has come from a politician in Europe's most liberal country! Dutch MP Geert Wilders may look like a well endowed seventies porn star but he obviously has a decent sized brain too under those flowing golden locks!

The call came after Esham Jami, a young Dutch politician who established a group to support people who have renounced Islam, was brutally attacked by a Muslim gang. Jami is now under police protection for daring to help Muslims who have left the teachings of the dark side. Wliders quoted several surahs from the Quran that called on Muslims to "oppress, persecute or kill Christians, Jews, dissidents and non-believers, to beat and rape women and to establish an Islamic state by force". He said Holland should "Ban this wretched book like Mein Kampf is banned! Send a signal to Jami's attackers and other Islamic radicals that the Quran cannot be used in the Netherlands as an inspiration or an excuse for violence."

On a personal note, I would like to add that it is inexcusable for anybody to mock Allah's favourite book. No such behavour will be tolerated on this blog!

Britain Running Out of Muslim Terrorists

It would appear that the U.K. may be running out of Muslim terrorists. In an attempt to avoid such a devastating catastrophe the Government has urgently requested the immediate return of 5 Islamic terrorists currently held in Guantanamo Bay. Although none of the 5 are U.K. citizens, Prime Minister Gordon Brown feels that a lack of Islamic terrorists in Britain would quickly lead to a shortage of suitable role models for young Muslims receiving benefits from the country they hate. Despite all 5 having undeniable terrorist links each of them has been able to convince naive liberals at groups such as 'Amnesty' and 'Liberty' of their innocence.

OMAR DEGHAYES - Was actually caught on film at a Muslim Terror camp but claimed 'mistaken identity' when detained fleeing Afghanistan after the fall of the Taleban.

SHAKER ABDUR-RAHEEM AAMER - Claimed he was merely carrying out 'voluntary charity work' in Afghanistan.

ABDULNOUR SAMEUR - Wounded in Afghanistan (where he had travelled to be a 'good' muslim) whilst fighting alongside a group of Arabs. Also admitted prior knowledge of 9/11.

JAMIL EL-BANNA - Has links to imprisoned radical Muslim cleric Abu Qatada.

BINYAM MOHAMMED AL HABASHI - Received firearms and explosives training in Afghanistan with shoe-bomber Richard Reid.

It must be dificult being a Muslim these days. Just because you carry an AK47 and several hand grenades everybody thinks you're a terrorist!!!...Thank Allah for 'Amnesty International' and 'Liberty'.

Hamas Murders More Children

In an effort to avoid the 'embarrassment' of murdering even more of their own children, Palestinian terrorists have today been allowed by their religious leaders to spend a little less time slavishly reciting quranic hate verses at prayer time in order to spend more time studying the instructions for firing portable rockets.

The 'Religious' order comes after a terrorist attempt earlier today, aimed at scuppering Israel/Palestine peace moves, resulted in the death of an 8 year old Palestinian boy and his younger sister when several rockets fell short of their proposed Israeli target and landed in Northern Gaza instead. Souces in the area said 'This is not an unusual occurrence'

This latest Islamic 'own goal' has been described as Hamas' worst 'miscalculation' since they murdered 8 Palestinians in the now infamous 'Gaza Beach Massacre'.

Hamas' spokesperson was said to be 'unavailable' for comment.

Galloway Wants to Ban Dogs!

He's at it again....Corrupt M.P. 'Mad-Dog' George Galloway today stated that he wanted to ban all dogs from the U.K.

Standing in (badly) for the brilliant Jon 'Gaunty' Gaunt on radio's talkSPORT he stated that if he had his way he would 'ban all dogs from Britain because they were a danger to the public and served no purpose'.

Egged on by emails/calls from several callers (most named Mohammed, Ali etc) he declared that he would attempt to introduce a Private Members' bill in the next session of Parliament. If successful, the bill would fulfill the Islamic dream of a 'dog-free' Britain. The reason for the radio 'discussion' was the horrific attack on a small child by a Staffordshire Bull Terrier this weekend. Galloway argued that if a ban saved just one child from suffering such injuries then it would be worth it.

Superb reasoning! But hang on a minute, there are over 3 times as many dogs in Britain than there are Muslims. Yet Muslims kill and maim more than 50 times more innocent men, women and children than dogs...maybe George should make a slight amendment to his proposed bill ;o)

Barbecued Muslim Leaves Earth

Well, Paradise has another mouth to feed tonight after failed terrorist, Kafeel Ahmed, died in hospital from the injuries he received whilst being a very naughty Muslim at Glasgow airport.

There was, however, one very happy lady tonight and that was Layla, AKA virgin number 1 (of 72). Layla, one of Paradise's most experienced virgins, was considered a bit of a beauty in her day. Time may not have been too kind to her but she is still considered to be excellent value for money. As Layla pointed out..."It's not easy working as a virgin in Paradise as almost all of my clients have several major body parts missing. That's why I can't wait to 'welcome' Kafeel...he may have the skin texture of BBQ'd pig but at least he'll be able to make his own breakfast in the morning!".

Layla's caring nature has made her one of Allah's favourite virgins. After 38 years of attentive service beyond the call of duty, Layla only has another 1,253 suicide bombers to satisfy before she is due for automatic retirement.

Planes, Flames and Naughty M.P.s

Well it's been a funny few weeks for Muslims. First they try to blow up hundreds of people in London for taking part in the un-Islamic activity of having fun...and then they try to scare everybody to death at Glasgow airport by setting fire to themselves. These people really are stupid...didn't they realise if they'd have done it on November 5th they could have raised loads of money by having a 'Penny for the Guy' collection!

It's over 100 degrees, the sun's beating down and you're in Iran....Yes, it must be time to send the Religious Police out to make sure that all women are covered from head to toe in black. And all because Muslim men can't control their sexual urges. Who ever said Islam was a backward religion that discriminates against women?

And now for the feel-good factor.... Part time M.P. and ex-holder of the coveted 'Turban of Death' award, George Galloway, has been found guilty (again) of stealing money from the Iraqi 'oil for food' programme by yet another independent investigation. The embarrassing bully boy of British politics looked guiltier than a Muslim attending Alchoholics Anonymous as he launched into a desperate attack on those that exposed him. Although the corrupt M.P. cannot produce any accounts for his 'Mariam Appeal' to prove he isn't a thief, he is adamant he has nothing to hide! "My dog ate them one evening whilst I was watching re-runs of Celebrity Big Brother" ...said the socialist millionaire.